Memoirs of a Fool

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

It looks something like this: http://www.cornwalltour.co.uk/images/north/beast_bodmin_moor.jpg

Ah, the holidays! Roll on days filled with luminous sunshine and ice-cream, miles and miles of infinite beaches, delicious warmth...

... and torrential rain...

Seriously now, God. We (well, some people, not including me) worship you and love you and abide by your commandments! It's July, Lord. Why rain? Why wind? Why temperatures so far below those normally associated with Summer that you actually need a COAT and SCARF to go outside?

I'm going to Berlin on Tuesday. I will laugh with more than just a small sense of irony if the weather is better there.

Labels: dear world, holiday, ow, picture, sigh

posted by AnwenKya at 05:52 - 1 comments

Sunday, 21 June 2009

Ain't no place for a skinny blonde midget no more.

I have just finished my week of work experience.
In Barry.

Don't get me wrong, my journalism work experience placement was amazing, I met some great people (including an 89-year-old woman who kept stroking my hair and asking if I was Scandinavian) and learnt a lot about the world of journalism, and my self-confidence increased as I had to make the 40 minute train journey by myself and phone people (part of my social phobia is an irrational hatred of phoning people... don't ask!), but still, it was in Barry.
Barry is actually quite a nice place. It's the largest town in Wales apparently, and it has plenty of shops and activities for a day out if you're bored. It's close to Cardiff and the countryside. The seaside is a stone's throw away. But some of the people I met really let it down. For example, the first day I was there, I saw 8 pregnant teenagers and 3 teenagers pushing a pram. I'm not 'judging' anyone who makes that decision at that age, but it was a bit of a culture shock as I've only ever met one teenage mother before in 17 years! The second day I was there, I walked past a group of girls and one said 'Jesus Lord above, what is that??', referring to me. I guessed it was because I look and sound posh, and I wasn't 'one of them', so I was automatically an outsider.
That's my main point. Why can't someone 'belong' just because they look a bit different or come from a different background?
Take the touchy subject of immigration for example. Britain is very multi-cultural nowadays, and that's in no way a bad thing. But it's still segregated. Muslim girls form groups in school and won't mix with other people, because they feel that they need to have the common bond of their religion to have a good friendship. That's not true. As the great Bill Bailey once said, you don't need to walk into the paddock to see the horse - you don't need to actually be a Muslim to understand their religion and accept it. It's the same with groups of friends who only seem to hang out together because they dress the same, or like the same group of music - why? Why not mix and learn something about another culture or another aspect of life?
People are so one-track minded these days, and by that I don't mean that they're blind to other people, rather that they wear blinkers around others. They see the outline of the person, the silhouette, but not the flesh that really makes that being, because they don't want to know if there's any chance that they won't like what they see.
To bring this post to my favourite topic of mental illness, that explains, in my opinion, why those with mental illnesses are often ignored and mistreated by society - people feel that if they've never been through it, they shouldn't even try to understand it because there's no way that they can. It's not true. It takes work for both sides, but what mentally ill people need is a connection to the outside world. If I hadn't made the 40 minute train journey by myself, I'd still be afraid to, and if I hadn't had to phone up people, I'd still be anxious about it, but because someone understood my inhibitions and helped me work through them, I managed it.
And, to be honest, I'm quite proud of myself for that.

Labels: dear world, me, ow, rant, sanity

posted by AnwenKya at 12:24 - 0 comments

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

After Birth

The fire that once kept my brain alive

Alive but tortured, ebony and cold

Has burnt out; only ashes have survived,

The embers dead and grey, so withered, old.

None of this at birth could be foretold,

Sweet baby with a smiling, pleasing face

Without the wisdom of her birthing place

The cruelties of children, and of Earth.

If she had known, perhaps her saving grace

Would be to die so tender after birth.

Alas, she grew, and as she did, she learnt

That children could be cruel with their remarks.

Their scorn and taunts would be forever burnt

Into her flesh, and soon would leave a mark

More permanent than bruises, and more dark

Than scars of wounds that healed from childish mirth.

The suffering we must endure on Earth

Is but a life on which we must embark,

To seek to prove belonging and our worth

Less we have died so tender after birth.

A skeleton can tell no tales or lies,

And so the child was left an empty shell

And all she had to say was told by eyes

As desolate as those forged hot in Hell.

The child was living, dead and in a spell

Cast on her by those with evil at heart,

With aims to tear her existence apart.

Remorse had not its place, had not its worth.

They took their bows and shot a poisoned dart

That struck the child so tender after birth.

And now she lives in solitude and grace,

With knowledge that this is the only place

In which one is rewarded for their mirth,

And punished if they dare to show their face

Among the strong, so tender after birth.

Doesn't have to be autographical, but it is.
All I want to say is that I don't have to be treated with kid gloves...

(don't give me what I want just because you feel sorry for me)

But fucking RESPECT me as a human being.

I expect that.

I expect you to treat me as you would anyone else. Don't make hollow promises because you think I'm an android and I won't mind. I have emotions. Don't make a fucking ignorant judgement that I won't give a shit if you screw me over. Because I WILL.

Labels: dear world, me, ow, poem

posted by AnwenKya at 14:27 - 1 comments

Thursday, 19 March 2009

Revenge of the Blistered Skin

Wow, I must be a real magnet for blisters... just discovered I have this sexy piece of ass on my lip.

Yes, it's a blood blister! Must've bitten my lip while eating my (accidentally) vegetarian spaghetti bolognese. Mum has to learn to read the labels of food before she buys it.

Anyway, this post is really to showcase my extreme art skills. Dad drew a picture of me at dinner:

.. which is a REALLY cunning, sly reference to the fact that I'm short and top heavy. So I drew this in response:

I think we can all agree that my family is quite clearly a talented bunch.
And no, I did not take Art at A Level...

Labels: me, ow, picture

posted by AnwenKya at 12:08 - 1 comments

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

An update!

I've not been a very busy blogger lately, have I? I wish there were a valid reason, possibly an exciting one, like 'I was on holiday in the Congo', but sadly no, I've just been lazy.

Not lazy enough, by the looks of it.

I've got the best blister ever on my finger. Well, actually, as far as blisters go it's pretty pathetic, but the sheer fact that it prevents me from fully bending my finger makes it immediately impressive.

I didn't even get it in a cool way. I was carrying a heavy plastic box of paper and I guess it rubbed on my finger. I shouldn't have even been carrying it, but no, the lanky waist-coated twat with me wasn't enough of a gentleman to help the midget.

Anyway, here it is, because we all like to see freaky things:

See? It's quite cool. And I apologise for the awful lumpiness of my finger, I do have very bizarre digits.

Anyway, that's all from me. I also have a huge spot on my forehead, but that's a bit too gross and personal, so no pictures. Besides, we've all seen spots, but not everyone has seen an Amazing Blister Caused By Blatant Sexism and Midgetism of the Lanky Bastards.

Labels: me, ow

posted by AnwenKya at 15:22 - 0 comments

About Me

Name: AnwenKya
Home: Cardiff
About Me: I am a 5ft blonde teenager with an overactive imagination, bad temper and terrifying sense of humour. Hear me roar!
See my profile...